First 5K

I may have stated this in my last blog post, but I had to quit running a couple of years ago due to my hip having bursitis. When it started to feel better, I guess I had already gotten out of the habit and just never started back. My dream was to do a 5K at that point, but I specifically wanted to run a 5K...I didn’t want to be the fat girl walking the 5K.

So a couple of months ago (February maybe?) I went to eat lunch with some girls from work. One of them said that the Color Vibe was coming to Greenville in April and asked if any of us wanted to go. We all agreed that it would be awesome to go and we all paid for it basically right there on our phones. (Isn’t technology awesome?)

I was so excited to do the Color Vibe at first, but I knew I would be walking it...unfortunately...but I figured that it would be okay and I would deal.

So the day came. I was excited the night before. I went to and bought a oversized white t-shirt and cut the arms off of it and made a little bow on the back for a racer back. It was cute.

The day came.

Honestly, I still wasn’t that nervous that morning, but the closer we got to the location, the more nervous I got.

I had all of these questions in my mind. Would I be laughed at? Was I too fat for this? How could I let myself get back out of shape this much? Will I be the last person to walk across the finish line? Could I put my headphones on so I can just block out all of the noise because I know I’ll be walking by myself the whole way. Will the powder mess my headphone up because I can’t use the earbuds that came with my iPhone because my ears are too small and they’ll fall out.

I know these all seem like very silly questions, but I was feeling so self-conscious that I wanted to cry. However, I had already paid for the ticket, and Zeus dammit, I was not going to waste the money I had already paid.

So we finally got there and the traffic was terrible and we were late because of it (along with about a thousand other people). I feel like we were all a little anxious about it all. Just to be done with the traffic, the friend driving parked in a random parking lot.

While walking there we were all walking at different speeds and I was left behind, which after the 5K I really felt whatever about it, but at the time I was really hurt. I know it’s probably dumb and ridiculous, but I cried...a lot. Please don’t get me wrong, I know that my friends’ plans were not to hurt me, but I think that with my emotions already going crazy, I just kind of broke down and felt really shitty about that moment in my life. (If any of my friends who went to this are reading this, please, please, please, please, do not be offended by those comments. I am not saying these things to be mean, rude, or hurtful. This post is literally just saying how I was feeling at that moment in my life and please read on because you’ll want to read the ending.)

We started the 5K with them blasting pink and purple Holi paint all over us. After we went through that, I turned my favorite Pandora station on (I freakin’ LOVE the Pitbull Radio Station), which helps me get into my own head and not worry about others around me. I did decide to leave my headphones in the car because I didn’t want to mess them up. Well at first, I was walking with a couple of friends, but then I kind of started to hang back a little. At that point I almost felt that I would rather walk by myself because I was still feeling self-conscious about myself.

My original plan was to run and walk, but because of my mood, I just decided to walk. About half way through the 5K I started to feel better. I’m sure that I let my mind get distracted and free up just enough so that my endorphins could kick in. At that point, I was like just fuck it, and I ran. I would run through one song and then I would walk through the next. I did this off and on for about a mile or a mile and a half until I saw the finish line. Once I saw that, I just ran. I thought to myself, “I am running across that damn finish line!”

So I did.

I ran across the finish line.

While running across the finished line, I saw my friends. They were cheering me on. When I got to them a couple of them hugged me and said, “I’m proud of you.” I’m not sure if they’ll ever really know how much them standing there at the end of the 5K cheering me on meant to me. I really feel like doing a 5K was a ridiculously huge deal to me. A lot of people may beg to differ, and that’s okay. But as someone who has always been overweight and who used to run 1-3 miles three to four times a week and can’t anymore, it is a big deal to me.

Done Son! 

We ended up going 6.43 miles which is actually more like a 10K...but I'm okay with that.

Regrets: The only “regret” that I have is that I was kind of a dick to my friends for a moment after they left me. Honestly, the works just came out of my mouth wrong. I should have been a bit kinder with them because, again, I know they were not trying to hurt me...I had just put myself in a pissy mood. My other regret was that I let myself get so caught up in my thoughts...which put me in the pissy mood. I got so self-conscious about the things that I was doing and about what other people thought about me in the beginning that I couldn’t just let go and have a good time. I also regret not buying a t-shirt from my first 5K.

What I Learned: That I can do it. I was so nervous, but we ended up actually walking 6.4 miles that day. Which is amazing in my opinion. Another thing that is amazing is that I didn’t hurt the next day...but I did feel very week later that day. Charlie went and bought me a Vitamin Water and I started to perk up with the electrolytes.

I know this blog was a little late (by a month…), but I wanted to sit down and type it out without rushing through it. I wanted to be able to share my feelings about it.

Remember, you can do it too. No matter where you are in your health. I saw people much bigger than I am walking and having fun with their friends. Luckily, the Color Vibe and other similar 5Ks are very much for family, they aren’t a competition to see who can cross the line first.

I encourage everyone to get out there and do it. Google 5Ks in your area. I know Active’s website has a place where you can search for local 5Ks.

I’m planning on doing another 5K in August. I’ll definitley let y’all know how that goes when I do it. Maybe I’ll even actually run it ;)

I hope y'all are okay with me using this picture! 

XOXO,

Kat