I am hopefully graduating in December...I know freakin' finally, and I'm still keeping my fingers crossed on December...So I'm getting a lot of what are you going to do next in life? My response is always..I have no clue! I know what I want to do, but that doesn't mean that I will get to do it. There are two things that I want to do more than anything.
The first thing is go to graduate school to become a counselor. I have no clue if I will even get into grad school. It depresses me. It's one of those situations where life isn't fair. Well, god dammit, can life just be fair for me just this once? Haven't I been through enough? Anyways. I have always felt that it was my calling, or at least part of my calling. I'm good with people, that's just how it has always been. However, I realize that it may not be in the cards right away...or anytime soon.
However, the thing that I think I would be most happy doing is baking. I love to bake. I always have. When people hear this they always ask me why I didn't go to culinary school...my answer is hell I don't freakin know. I can't even explain the feeling I get when I bake. It's so calming to me but at the same time it makes me elated. And the feeling I get when someone tells me how good it is makes my heart jump just a little. It's an awesome feeling...especially when your friend eats four cupcakes ;) It's just what I want to do more than anything. I want that feeling of being my own boss and seeing what my effort can do. A lot of times I feel like no matter how hard I work it doesn't matter because honestly someone else can do the same thing and probably do it better. If I could do this, I know I could be proud of my work because it's mine, it's my name, not someone else's.
It sucks so much feeling like your dreams are so far out of reach, especially since I now know what I want to do. When I was 18 I had a feeling that I knew what I wanted to do, but I never really knew. If I knew then what I know now, I would have taken a much different path in life, but that's life in itself. You really have no clue where it's going to bring you. Even though those two things are my dreams, when it comes down to it, I just want to be happy.
The first thing is go to graduate school to become a counselor. I have no clue if I will even get into grad school. It depresses me. It's one of those situations where life isn't fair. Well, god dammit, can life just be fair for me just this once? Haven't I been through enough? Anyways. I have always felt that it was my calling, or at least part of my calling. I'm good with people, that's just how it has always been. However, I realize that it may not be in the cards right away...or anytime soon.
However, the thing that I think I would be most happy doing is baking. I love to bake. I always have. When people hear this they always ask me why I didn't go to culinary school...my answer is hell I don't freakin know. I can't even explain the feeling I get when I bake. It's so calming to me but at the same time it makes me elated. And the feeling I get when someone tells me how good it is makes my heart jump just a little. It's an awesome feeling...especially when your friend eats four cupcakes ;) It's just what I want to do more than anything. I want that feeling of being my own boss and seeing what my effort can do. A lot of times I feel like no matter how hard I work it doesn't matter because honestly someone else can do the same thing and probably do it better. If I could do this, I know I could be proud of my work because it's mine, it's my name, not someone else's.
It sucks so much feeling like your dreams are so far out of reach, especially since I now know what I want to do. When I was 18 I had a feeling that I knew what I wanted to do, but I never really knew. If I knew then what I know now, I would have taken a much different path in life, but that's life in itself. You really have no clue where it's going to bring you. Even though those two things are my dreams, when it comes down to it, I just want to be happy.
XOXO,
Kat
Comments
Post a Comment