Tonight is one of those lovely nights that I can't to to sleep because I only have a billion thoughts flowing through my mind. A lot of things have been going on in my life lately, and on top of all the personal stuff schools finally winding down and summer is upon us. At this moment summer coming is bitter-sweet. I'm super excited for this summer, but I'm not letting myself get too excited because I still haven't gotten my student loans worked out. Thinking about student loans have me thinking about loans for next school year, wondering if I'll get them and so on and so on. This is very normal for me during this time of year. I feel like when everyone else is outside enjoying the sun and excited that the summer is just around the corner, I'm at home feeling sick to my stomach not knowing what's next. I could go on and on about this forever, but I have to sit back and tell myself that whatever happens it's not the end of the world. That I WILL make it through. I have to make it, I have no choice.
On a MUCH better note, I've lost nine pounds over the past three weeks. I haven't really been able to tell by looking at myself, but I can feel it when I move, if that even makes since. However, when I looked in the mirror this morning, I am starting to tell it in my face a bit. The people I'm closest to knows that weight is something that I've struggled with all of my life. All of my life I've tried and tried to lose weight, and I haven't been very successful at it. Well in my attempt to be successful in everything that I do (school, work, etc...) I've decided that I have to be successful at this too. My biggest problem is that I am an extremely impatient person and I want to drop 30 pounds NOW. I have to remind myself though that it isn't possible to drop 30 pounds instantly without some kind of surgery or cutting my legs off.
Some people may wonder why I've decided to lose weight. Well I can tell you now that it wasn't someone calling me fat. Which as some people know has happened pretty recently. I've been made fun of for having a little meat on my bones since in was in elementary school, so that doesn't hurt me anymore, that's more or less the person's stupidity and jealousy. Plus, I'm not fat...I'm fluffy. The thing that made me say I needed to lose weight was that I measured my bra size one day and the part that went around me was three sizes bigger than the bras that I wear. This doesn't sound like a big deal, but I can't afford any new bras. The only logical explanation is to lose weight. I'm cheap what can I say.
I couldn't do this alone so I decided to enlist the help from a couple of friends. I defiantly feel that I need the support to get through this because at first losing weight is HARD! Some friends that I have to think in my journey if you will is Phillip, Rachel, and Amy. Phillip's just always there for me. When I start to break down he's there for me and he pushes me through to the other side. Rachel's there to "check up" on me, for lack of better terms. She's been wonderful moral support. So has Amy :D. She's given up bagels and cookies when I'm around haha. I also have a lot of friends that have been there cheering me on, but it's too many to count.
Overall my life is pretty sweet right now. School's getting a lot better and I feel like it's all coming pretty natural to me again, which is crazy awesome. I have a wonder boyfriend, great friends, and a stupendous family. I'm thankful for all of them and I wouldn't want anyone else there cheering me on. I feel like this one of those cheesy blog post...so excuse it if it is haha...oh yeah...good night loves
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